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Mr. Ramblomatic!!!

I had to bring this guy to the notice of the boring and old people who are locked up with their computers in their parents' basement. I was referring to the ten people that read these pages. Coming back to the point, Mr. Ramblomatic a.k.a Yahtzee, or is it vice versa... Guess thats besides the point. Well, as i was saying, The man has a website dedicated to games and reviews of games and a whole load of other bullshit, but this is the kind of bullshit that is better compared to a lot of the other bullshit on the WWW. He is a Brit, settled in Brisbane who works a dead-end job, but redeems himself by writing the funniest shit ever. Had a few glances at his website a while ago and now i find myself desperate to get back to my parents' basement to see what Yahtzee has in store for his presumably eleven fans. He has also resorted to making videos now, for people to appreciate him on the Escapist magazine. What I'm about to do is very out of the ordinary. I am going to link his videos to my page, so that the few people that bother to click on this page as they have nothing better to do with their lives, can look at something less monotonous than my boring shade of black.

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/

September 22 10:37:00 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Computers and Internet

The DELL loophole!!!

P.S. Ignore the errors in the language. Was written by am illeterate.

I no longer work for Dell, I quit my job there, but I worked in Nashville in
the S&P Small business division - And boy oh boy do you guys have a lot to
learn Later tonight, I'm going to make a very long post with a ton of inside
info - I have intentions of teaching all of you the truth about Dell, how
their coupon system and rebates work, and how to beat their system.

Heres a hint at the goodness to come, some of you may have known this from
personal experience, but its time this gets out in the open....

When you call Dell - You can get amazing deals, Never buy online, always
call in...........The 2005FPW deal? Hehe, the deal is not dead guys, it
never will be....Coupons? Ha! its all BS, coupons don't matter at all. Can
you say 2405FPW for around $671.44? Shipped, of course. What about a 2005FPW
for $342.51, once again, shipped.....and what if I were to tell you, you can
get that deal, all day long, anyday of the week

Oh yeah, and heres the real kicker....what if I told you, 20 to 30% off of
the best price you can find on dells website for almost anything? And yes,
that includes the Geforce 7800GTX Can you say $400? Hehe

Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to blow one bigass
whistle....

UPDATE -

Sorry this is taking so long guys, Those of you who assume this is a YMMV
post, as well as a "hope you get a good rep, they'll give you a good deal"
are slightly correct, but there is a lot more to it than that, I'm going to
try and explain it in more detail later, its a long write up, and I don't
want to spread any misinformation....And, I don't consider this information
"secret" except that I have the real inside info, I was there; when you
called in to order a 2405fpw, You were talking to me, or one of my
coworkers, I know how it works, and I'm going to explain how to get the best
deal out of me (Dell) you could imagine...

Heres some more basic info

1. Dell branded items have a built in 20 to 30% markup from the best price
you can find on dells website, what does that mean? To expand on this, if a
2405fpw has a msrp of $1199, and you can buy it online for 959.20, you can
buy it over the phone for 20% less than that at a minimum, maybe even 30%,
the amount of a discount a rep can give past the online advertised price
depends and fluctuates daily - it will always be at least 20% - The only
catch is convincing the rep on the other end of the phone to give this to
you, they can do it, they have the authority, and if they tell you they
can't, they are lies.

2. Dell reps are required to sell a certain amount of sh@t everyday, or they
get fired. Its measured in a system known as "stacks", basically, its a
commission system. Everyone knows this - What they don't know, is how to use
social engineering to play this on your behalf - This is where the good
stuff is at, more to come soon

The big update you have all been waiting for -

Alright, I'm going to make good on what I promised earlier.

Here is the deal:

In order to explain how to get the best deal from Dell, you must take into
consideration six main points.

1. Social engineering is required for this to work

2. A Dell Rep must sell a certain amount of stuff per day in order to meet
their quota – otherwise they get fired.

3. A Dell rep has the ability, and authority, to discount items above and
beyond the website price.

4. Dell reps are paid on a salary structure, plus commission. This is the
most important factor, because you will use this information to get the best
deal.

5. Dell branded items have what is called "inflated margin". This means a
Dell rep can sell you a 2005fpw at cost, because he still benefits from the
sell of the item, some will be reluctant to do this – Margin (the amount of
money Dell makes from a sell) is one of the ways the performance of a Dell
rep is measured, However, if you find a rep that won't give you your best
deal, hang up, and call back in, it might take a few try's, but it can save
you hundreds…..

6. Non-Dell Branded items don't have nearly as much "margin" built into the
price, but some do, some items like video cards, have HUGE margins, meaning
reps can discount Geforce 7800GTX's 20% all day long, and still have
positive margin for the sell………..this isn't true of every non-Dell item,
some have hardly any margin at all, and reps can't do much on the price
front…

In order to convince a Dell rep to give you that incredible deal, you need
to make it worth his/her time. The way you do this, is express you interest
in items that you have no intention of buying; this leads the Dell rep to
believe that if he gives you a good deal now, you might buy a big item
later, which will help him/her to meet their quota. (This isn't the only way
to go about getting the rep to give you his/her best deal, but it worked for
me, if someone told me they were going to buy plasma, I had no problem
selling them a monitor at base price – The Basic idea is get on the reps
good side, make him laugh, tell a joke, whatever floats your boat –These
people live very boring lives in there tiny cubicles, trust me, it gets real
boring sometimes……)

Dell has two main divisions, with hundreds of sub divisions, the two primary
divisions are of course Dell Home, and Dell Small Business. Dell S&P
(Software and peripherals) has a lot more flexibility in their pricing
structure, as a general rule of thumb, try and deal with them; they can get
you the best deal.

It does not matter if you don't own a company, tell them you do, they don't
validate any company info you give them. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT tell them
this will be for personal use. They will transfer you. Business use only.

It's important to remember that the amount of a discount that a rep can give
you does vary day by day, with new pricing matrix information coming out
every Thursday, meaning, last week if they could only do 10%, they may be
able to do 20% now, it just depends….I've still got friends at Dell, I'm
going to try and provide the with inside pricing structure every week, maybe
we can get a sticky going for that with limited user access for the so the
whole enthusiast community doesn't see it? Tomorrow I will provide the with
solid numbers on specific items, and the BEST deal that can be had, that way
you can call in, and if the rep won't sell it to you at that price, you know
you can do better, so you can hang-up and try again.

Here are some real world price points to give you an example of what a Dell
representative is capable of doing as far as discounts go, these prices do
not include tax, which depends on your location, so it varies. I never got
to see Dells true cost, but I assure you, it's sick how much money they make
off of Dell branded items, especially when poor bastards buy Dell's stuff
off of their website.

2405FPW – MSRP $1199, Online 959.20, 20% Rep Discount $767.36, 30% Rep
Discount $671.44

2005FPW – MSRP $699, Online 489.30, 20% Rep Discount $391.44, 30% Rep
Discount $342.51

Dell 42" Plasma W4200 – MSRP $2999, Online $2699, 20% Rep Discount $2159.20

Three weeks ago, the pricing matrix (The "Guidelines" a Dell rep has to work
with when issuing a discount) allowed us to go to 30% on a number of items,
including the 2005fpw and 2405fpw. The week before I quit, we could only go
to 20% on the same things. In other words, it does vary when a Rep can give
discounts – But that is in no way associated to coupons or discount codes.

It's also important to know that coupon codes, and discounts won't work in
conjunction with any of the tactics I've discussed here, In order to get a
rep to sell you stuff at his/her discount prices, he has got to maintain a
positive margin, meaning, Dell MUST make something from the sell, even if
its only a few dollars off of that 2405, they still made a few bucks from
the sell.