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Thick vs FatThick vs. Fat
A lot of women wanna know what the difference is between being Thick and being Fat? In my personal opinion most women are beautiful in some type of way. The beauty can come from the way the woman talks, the way she walks or just her overall personality. As we all know women come in different shapes, sizes and have different physical characteristics that are considered attractive. Some women are skinny, some women are thick and some are fat. I will attempt to break this down for those who really need a description from the male point of view.
Generation GAP!!!ARE children getting smarter by the day??? Find out….
A first-grade teacher, Ms Elvira (Age 28), was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Boy. what’s your problem?"
Are women really this BAD???This one actually describes the potential for females to be the rudest things on the planet…
No offence to any women reading this one.
It’s pretty much the truth as I reckon it.
Read on………….
How to Keep a Woman Happy
All you have to do is to be:
1. A friend
11. A mechanic
39. Courageous
AND>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about
IT IS ALSO VERY IMPORTANT TO:
· Birthdays
· Anniversaries
· Arrangements she makes
2. Feed him well. 3. Let him have the remote control.
What type of lingerie should you wear???What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."
"There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.
The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple..."
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? rmed! (A} Almost Breasts... Work through this!!!The average person only gets 4 rights. This is based on U.S. & CDN info, so use all of the lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see! There are 20 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think-- it just shows you how little we pay attention to the common place things of life. Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer! Can you beat 15?? (The average is 4) Write down your answers and then check your answers (on the bottom) only AFTER completing all the questions. REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! --- BE HONEST!!! That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...Then, before you pass this on to your friends, change the number on the subject line to show how many you got correct. Forward to your friends and also back to the one who sent it to you. LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. Here we go! 1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom? 2. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch? 3. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them? 4. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? 5. How many matches are in a standard pack? 6. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white? 7. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? 8. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run? 9 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons? 10. Which way do fans rotate? 11. How many sides does a stop sign have? 12. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side? 13. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? 14. How many sides are there on a standard pencil? 15. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy,Dopey, Doc. Who's missing? 16. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark? 17. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord to turn them up and down? 18. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits? 19. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip? 20. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
ANSWERS 1. Bottom 2. Right 3. 1, 0 4. Right 5. 20 6. Red 7. Clockwise (north of the equator) 8. Towards bottom right 9. Left 10. Anti-Clockwise as you look at it 11. 8 12. Left 13. 5 14. 6 15. Bashful 16. Ace of spades 17. Left 18. *, . 19. 3 20. Counter 20. Counter
Think English is Easy!!!Read to the end . . . a new twist to an oldie
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
I'm What???
'tenjewberrymuds'
ESPESP or extrasensory perception is perception occurring independently of sight, hearing, or other sensory processes. People who have extrasensory perception are said to be psychic. It is commonly called ESP, a term popularized by J.B. Rhine, who began investigating the phenomenon at Duke University in 1927. ESP refers to telepathy, clairvoyance, precognition, and in recent years, remote viewing and clairaudience. The existence of ESP and other paranormal powers such as telekinesis, are disputed, though systematic experimental research on these subjects, known collectively as psi, has been ongoing for over a century in parapsychology. Most of the evidence for ESP is anecdotal and is dismissed by skeptics as based on one or several of the following:
The following case is typical of those cited as proof of ESP. It is unusual only in that it involves belief in a psychic dog, rather than a psychic human. The dog in question is a terrier who has achieved fame as having ESP as exhibited by his ability to know when his owner, Pam Smart, is deciding to come home when she is away shopping or on some other business. The dog's name is Jaytee. He has been featured on several television programs in Australia, the United States and England, where he resides with Pam and her parents, who were the first to perceive the dog's psychic abilities. They observed that the dog would run to the window facing the street at precisely the moment Pam was deciding to come home from several miles away. (How the parents knew the precise moment Pam was deciding to come home is unclear.) Parapsychologist Rupert Sheldrake investigated and declared the dog is truly psychic. Two scientists, Dr Richard Wiseman and Matthew Smith of the University of Hertfordshire, tested the dog under controlled conditions. The scientists synchronized their watches and set video cameras on both the dog and its owner. Alas, several experimental tries later, they had to conclude that the dog wasn't doing what had been alleged. He went to the window and did so quite frequently, but only once did he do so near the exact time his master was preparing to come home and that case was dismissed because the dog was clearly going to the window after hearing a car pull up outside his domicile. Four experiments were conducted and the results were published in the British Journal of Psychology (89:453, 1998). Much of the belief in ESP is based upon apparently unusual events that seem inexplicable. However, we should not assume that every event in the universe can be explained. Nor should we assume that what is inexplicable requires a paranormal (or supernatural) explanation. Maybe an event can't be explained because there is nothing to explain. The Dell loopholeP.S. Ignore the errors in the language. Was written by am illeterate.
I no longer work for Dell, I quit my job there, but I worked in Nashville in the S&P Small business division - And boy oh boy do you guys have a lot to learn Later tonight, I'm going to make a very long post with a ton of inside info - I have intentions of teaching all of you the truth about Dell, how their coupon system and rebates work, and how to beat their system. Heres a hint at the goodness to come, some of you may have known this from personal experience, but its time this gets out in the open.... When you call Dell - You can get amazing deals, Never buy online, always call in...........The 2005FPW deal? Hehe, the deal is not dead guys, it never will be....Coupons? Ha! its all BS, coupons don't matter at all. Can you say 2405FPW for around $671.44? Shipped, of course. What about a 2005FPW for $342.51, once again, shipped.....and what if I were to tell you, you can get that deal, all day long, anyday of the week Oh yeah, and heres the real kicker....what if I told you, 20 to 30% off of the best price you can find on dells website for almost anything? And yes, that includes the Geforce 7800GTX Can you say $400? Hehe Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to blow one bigass whistle.... UPDATE - Sorry this is taking so long guys, Those of you who assume this is a YMMV post, as well as a "hope you get a good rep, they'll give you a good deal" are slightly correct, but there is a lot more to it than that, I'm going to try and explain it in more detail later, its a long write up, and I don't want to spread any misinformation....And, I don't consider this information "secret" except that I have the real inside info, I was there; when you called in to order a 2405fpw, You were talking to me, or one of my coworkers, I know how it works, and I'm going to explain how to get the best deal out of me (Dell) you could imagine... Heres some more basic info 1. Dell branded items have a built in 20 to 30% markup from the best price you can find on dells website, what does that mean? To expand on this, if a 2405fpw has a msrp of $1199, and you can buy it online for 959.20, you can buy it over the phone for 20% less than that at a minimum, maybe even 30%, the amount of a discount a rep can give past the online advertised price depends and fluctuates daily - it will always be at least 20% - The only catch is convincing the rep on the other end of the phone to give this to you, they can do it, they have the authority, and if they tell you they can't, they are lies. 2. Dell reps are required to sell a certain amount of sh@t everyday, or they get fired. Its measured in a system known as "stacks", basically, its a commission system. Everyone knows this - What they don't know, is how to use social engineering to play this on your behalf - This is where the good stuff is at, more to come soon The big update you have all been waiting for - Alright, I'm going to make good on what I promised earlier. Here is the deal: In order to explain how to get the best deal from Dell, you must take into consideration six main points. 1. Social engineering is required for this to work 2. A Dell Rep must sell a certain amount of stuff per day in order to meet their quota – otherwise they get fired. 3. A Dell rep has the ability, and authority, to discount items above and beyond the website price. 4. Dell reps are paid on a salary structure, plus commission. This is the most important factor, because you will use this information to get the best deal. 5. Dell branded items have what is called "inflated margin". This means a Dell rep can sell you a 2005fpw at cost, because he still benefits from the sell of the item, some will be reluctant to do this – Margin (the amount of money Dell makes from a sell) is one of the ways the performance of a Dell rep is measured, However, if you find a rep that won't give you your best deal, hang up, and call back in, it might take a few try's, but it can save you hundreds….. 6. Non-Dell Branded items don't have nearly as much "margin" built into the price, but some do, some items like video cards, have HUGE margins, meaning reps can discount Geforce 7800GTX's 20% all day long, and still have positive margin for the sell………..this isn't true of every non-Dell item, some have hardly any margin at all, and reps can't do much on the price front… In order to convince a Dell rep to give you that incredible deal, you need to make it worth his/her time. The way you do this, is express you interest in items that you have no intention of buying; this leads the Dell rep to believe that if he gives you a good deal now, you might buy a big item later, which will help him/her to meet their quota. (This isn't the only way to go about getting the rep to give you his/her best deal, but it worked for me, if someone told me they were going to buy plasma, I had no problem selling them a monitor at base price – The Basic idea is get on the reps good side, make him laugh, tell a joke, whatever floats your boat –These people live very boring lives in there tiny cubicles, trust me, it gets real boring sometimes……) Dell has two main divisions, with hundreds of sub divisions, the two primary divisions are of course Dell Home, and Dell Small Business. Dell S&P (Software and peripherals) has a lot more flexibility in their pricing structure, as a general rule of thumb, try and deal with them; they can get you the best deal. It does not matter if you don't own a company, tell them you do, they don't validate any company info you give them. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT tell them this will be for personal use. They will transfer you. Business use only. It's important to remember that the amount of a discount that a rep can give you does vary day by day, with new pricing matrix information coming out every Thursday, meaning, last week if they could only do 10%, they may be able to do 20% now, it just depends….I've still got friends at Dell, I'm going to try and provide the with inside pricing structure every week, maybe we can get a sticky going for that with limited user access for the so the whole enthusiast community doesn't see it? Tomorrow I will provide the with solid numbers on specific items, and the BEST deal that can be had, that way you can call in, and if the rep won't sell it to you at that price, you know you can do better, so you can hang-up and try again. Here are some real world price points to give you an example of what a Dell representative is capable of doing as far as discounts go, these prices do not include tax, which depends on your location, so it varies. I never got to see Dells true cost, but I assure you, it's sick how much money they make off of Dell branded items, especially when poor bastards buy Dell's stuff off of their website. 2405FPW – MSRP $1199, Online 959.20, 20% Rep Discount $767.36, 30% Rep Discount $671.44 2005FPW – MSRP $699, Online 489.30, 20% Rep Discount $391.44, 30% Rep Discount $342.51 Dell 42" Plasma W4200 – MSRP $2999, Online $2699, 20% Rep Discount $2159.20 Three weeks ago, the pricing matrix (The "Guidelines" a Dell rep has to work with when issuing a discount) allowed us to go to 30% on a number of items, including the 2005fpw and 2405fpw. The week before I quit, we could only go to 20% on the same things. In other words, it does vary when a Rep can give discounts – But that is in no way associated to coupons or discount codes. It's also important to know that coupon codes, and discounts won't work in conjunction with any of the tactics I've discussed here, In order to get a rep to sell you stuff at his/her discount prices, he has got to maintain a positive margin, meaning, Dell MUST make something from the sell, even if its only a few dollars off of that 2405, they still made a few bucks from the sell. Girls MUST Know30 Things Guys Want Girls to Know!!!!
122 Year old Body
"Where is Bob"? George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he
offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Bob". "And what is your question, Bob?" "I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes? And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?" Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is? "Steve" "And what is your question, Steve?" "I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes? Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?! nd fifth, where is "Bob"??!!!!* Conversation with a Muslim FriendIntroductionIt is always easier to deal with religious belief systems in the abstract. Cataloguing what a particular religion believes concerning the nature of God, human nature, salvation, and morality is usually a straightforward affair. Actually dialoguing with someone who holds to these beliefs can be far more interesting and challenging. So, although I possessed a general knowledge of what Islam teaches, I found that only by carrying on a long-term discussion with a Muslim did I gain a sense of the mindset and attitudes of a follower of Allah. A door was opened for me to experience some of the passion and zeal to be found in the Muslim evangelist. The discussion occurred via email, which muted some of the emotions that often accompany religious exchanges, but they still came through with considerable intensity. The opportunity to carry on a discussion with a Muslim apologist arose when a campus minister asked if I would help respond to charges against the claims of Christianity being made by an Islamic leader at his school. I agreed, and soon realized that a number of others, both Muslim and Christian would be listening in on our discussion. Once introduced to my Muslim counterpart, let's call him Ali, the interchange began quickly. I wish that I could report that at the end of our discussion Ali placed his faith in Christ. In fact, I don't think that I made much of an impact at all on his thinking. Ali, as with all of us, chooses what to accept as evidence. He refused to even attempt to see any of the issues we discussed from a Christian perspective. All I can do is pray that God might use our discussion down the road sometime, if God chooses to soften Ali's heart. Over a six month period our discussion primarily focused on the person of Christ. Ali would ask questions and I would attempt to give an answer. I quickly realized that Ali's tactics and intentions were different from mine. He often used ridicule and intimidation in his responses and would pick and choose what to discuss and what to ignore, deciding when to move on to another topic in order to avoid really considering the material at hand. I have never considered myself a debater, I would much rather have a discussion with people who are really interested in the topic and graciously exchange viewpoints. If I were to enter another dialogue like the one with Ali, I would have to realize that I cannot assume that everyone thinks the way I do regarding dialogue across religious worldviews. The Bible tells us to be ready to give the reason for the hope that we have in Christ, and to do so with gentleness and respect. Don't assume the other person will follow the same rules. Next we will look at the issue of the person of Jesus Christ from a Muslim perspective and begin to consider how one might make a biblical response. Christological MathematicsSince I had never spoken to a Muslim regarding the claims of Christianity, I was looking forward to the kinds of questions that might be raised. I was not surprised that the first issue that came up was the nature of Jesus Christ, since this really is the heart of the matter. Muslims believe that Jesus was a prophet, perhaps even a unique prophet, but not in any sense God. Ali got the conversation going by declaring that there was no place in the Bible that says that Jesus is both 100 percent God and 100 percent man. Along with this initial challenge Ali pointed out that he was very sensitive to proper interpretation and would be looking for incidents of verse twisting in order to make a passage say something that it actually doesn't. I sent Ali an essay that I had written earlier that contained multiple arguments for the deity of Christ and numerous biblical examples of Jesus saying and doing things that only make sense if He were indeed equal with God the Father. My response included indications of Christ's self-perception as God, as well as statements made by His disciples portraying their belief in His deity. I assumed that Christ's humanity was not the real issue. So I did not see a need to defend it. Ali's response was interesting. He noted that Muslims do indeed believe that Jesus was born of a virgin and performed many miracles, with the help of God. But then he stated, "From your response I think we both agree that the Bible does not claim that Jesus is both 100% God and 100% man." He later added, "If you don't have any verses to give us then let's move on to the next point." At first I thought that Ali had not gotten my entire essay. How could he have missed my point? He reassured me that he had gotten it and then declared that since there is no verse that states the 100 percent deity and 100 percent humanity of Christ, we can go on. What I eventually realized was that he was demanding a single verse that actually declared a mathematical set of percentages for the mixture of deity and humanity in Christ. I was a bit surprised to say the least. When I asked for confirmation, he said that that was indeed what he was looking for. Most people know that the verse numbers in the Bible were added at a later date for convenience sake. After reminding Ali of passages like Philippians 2:6-7 and the first chapter of John, I asked him why it was necessary to find this complex truth in one verse. He ignored my question and responded by claiming victory that indeed, the Bible does not claim in one verse that Jesus is 100 percent God and 100 percent man, and he declared that we would now move on to the next point. I must admit that I was a bit baffled, but not ready to concede the issue. However, before I moved on to his next question I tried once more to answer his first. All that got me was the charge that I was avoiding his second point. He wrote,
What about John 5:30? Jesus says; "By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but Him who sent me." Ali claims that the verse shows that Jesus is inferior and helpless, that in fact He can do nothing. The key to this passage, as always, is in the context. I pointed out to Ali that in John 5:19-23 Jesus says that "He can do only what He sees His Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does." Jesus raises the dead, has been given all judgment, and is to be given the same honor that the Father is given. Ali replied, "Great, this is what a messenger does, this doesn't make him god." I pointed out to him that a messenger communicates on behalf of someone else. He does not claim to do what someone else does. Muhammad claimed to be a messenger of Allah, not to do what Allah does. In fact, Jesus didn't claim to show the way as a messenger might, but He claimed that He was the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). In fact, the same chapter says that the Jews recognized that Jesus was claiming equality with God the Father and tried all the harder to kill him (John 5:18). Ali might disagree with this claim, that Jesus is God, but that is exactly the argument that is being made by this chapter and the rest of the book of John. Ali pulls verses from their context and refuses to deal with the entire passage. When given evidence from the chapter that contradicts his views, he changes the meanings of words and ridicules what he finds to be unreasonable. Next we will look at Ali's rejection of the Trinity. The TrinityIt is not surprising that Ali does not understand nor acknowledge the Trinitarian relationship between Jesus and the Father. Surah 4 verse 171 in the Qur'an calls on people of the book, Christians, not to commit excesses in their religion. It claims that Jesus was just a messenger of Allah and His Word, which was given to Mary. It literally tells Christians to "say not Trinity" for Allah is one. It is possible that Muhammad believed that the Trinity consisted of Jesus, the Father, and Mary. He rejected Jesus as the Son of God because he pictured Jesus as a physical offspring from a union of God the Father and Mary. This would commit the ultimate sin in the eyes of Islam, equating a physical thing with God the Creator (shirk). Ali writes, "To say that Jesus is God or Son of God is not only a mockery of Godhood, but blasphemy of the lowest order and an insult to the intelligence of men." As a result, Ali alternates between denying that the Bible teaches that Jesus is God and ridiculing as illogical the notion the Jesus can be both God and man. He refuses to acknowledge the notion of the Trinity, even when it is the best way to bring together difficult passages. When enough evidence is given that the Bible does teach that Jesus is both God and man, admittedly a difficult concept, Muslims reject the Bible as having been corrupted. They really have no other choice since the Qur'an specifically rejects the Trinity. It literally comes down to either rejecting their prophet Muhammad or accepting the validity and message of the Bible. An interesting side note to this discussion is that Ali's position is very similar to believers of other religious groups who respect Jesus but reject Christianity. Jehovah's Witnesses claim that the Bible was corrupted following the passing of the apostles, and that they now have its correct interpretation, as do Mormons and the Baha'is, an offshoot of Islam. Mormons claim that their prophet Joseph Smith received their view of Jesus, found in the Book of Mormon, from the angel Moroni. Muhammad claimed to have received the Qur'an from the angel Gabriel. It is obvious that all of these revelations cannot be true as they each give us a very different Jesus. Paul has something to say about these different gospels. He writes to the church in Galatia:
A Difficult DecisionAs I mentioned earlier, the outcome of the six-month interchange was neither a conversion, nor even a congenial agree-to-disagree ending. In fact, I ended the dialogue after realizing that continuing the exchange could profit little and that my time might be better spent elsewhere. I must add that this was not an easy decision to make. I wondered whether I had given up too easily or had somehow not communicated adequately the hope that I have in Christ. However, any hesitation to end the conversation was erased when I received a reply to my note to terminate the exchange. Ali told me that I could not quit. I went back to the Scriptures to see how Jesus handled such people and what He taught His followers to do when they encountered ears that would not hear. In the synoptic Gospels, Jesus told his apostles that, "If any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them." The meaning communicated was that those who reject the gospel must now answer for themselves. When the gospel is taught, it brings both judgment and salvation. In Matthew 7:6 Jesus tells the apostles, "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces." Dogs and pigs do not signify any specific race or ethnic group. Jesus is teaching that those who have treated the gospel with scorn and clearly rejected the salvation it offers and have been hardened by their contempt are to be avoided. When Paul and Timothy were opposed by the Jews, who became abusive, the book of Acts (18:5) records, "[H]e shook out his clothes in protest and said to them, 'Your blood be on your own heads! I am clear of my responsibility.'" I get little pleasure from reading these passages. I wanted to change Ali's mind. However, when I told Ali that I was praying for him, he replied, "Don't preach to me, prove it to me." Given that he had ignored much evidence already, it told me that his ears were closed. However, I will continue to pray that God will soften Ali's heart and that one day he might have ears to hear the Gospel.
In the End... When the dust settles, there will only be GOD!!! Horoscope TestHoroscope Test*
See if you can be true to your self. If you are honest this tells the truth - it's pretty good - Write your answers on a piece of paper. The answers are at the bottom of this page. *Questions:-* 1. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green,yellow? 2. Your first initial? 3. Your month of birth? 4. Which color do you like more, black or white? 5. Your favorite number? 6. Do you like Sydney or Brisbane more? 7. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? SCROLL DOWN.....
*Answers* *1. If you choose: -* *Red -* You are alert and your life is full of love. *Black -* you are conservative and aggressive. *Green -* your soul is relaxed and you are laid back *Blue -* you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. *Yellow-* you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down. *2. If your initial is:* *A-K:-* You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. *L-R:- *You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. *S-Z:- *You like to help others and your future love life looks very good. *3. If you were born in:* *Jan-Mar:-* The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. *April-June:-* You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. * July-Sep:-* You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. *Oct-Dec:-* Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate. *4. If you chose.....* *Black:-* Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. *White:- *You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it. 5. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime. *5. If you chose:* *Sydney**:* You like adventure. *Brisbane**:* You are a laid back person. *7. If you chose:* *Lake**:* You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. *Ocean:* You are spontaneous and like to please people. Girls... Must Know!!!30 Things Guys Want Girls to Know!!!!
What a Feeling!!!>Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... IT DOES
>MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
>
>
> 1. Falling in love.
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> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
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> 3. A hot shower.
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>4. No lines at the supermarket
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> 5. A special glance.
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>6. Getting mail
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> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
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>8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
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> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
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> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
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> 11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
>
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> 12. A bubble bath.
>
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>13. Giggling.
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> 14. A good conversation.
>
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>15. The beach
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> 16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
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> 17. Laughing at yourself.
>
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> 19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
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> 20. Running through sprinklers.
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> 21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful
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> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
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> 23. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
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> 24. Friends.
>
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> 25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
>
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> 26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
>
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> 27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
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> 28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
>
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> 29. Playing with a new puppy.
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> 30. Having someone play with your hair.
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> 31. Sweet dreams.
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> 32. Hot chocolate.
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> 33. Road trips with friends.
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> 34. Swinging on swings.
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> 35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
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> 36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
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> 37. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
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> 38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
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> 39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
>bad) never change.
>
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> 40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired
>present from you.
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> 41. Watching the sunrise.
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> 42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
>beautiful day.
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> 43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
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> 44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
>
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> 45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people
>think.
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> 46. Watching your child play and hearing them laugh. How to respond to Pick-up lines"Haven't I seen you someplace before?" "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." He: So what do you do for a living? She: Female impersonator. "Is this seat empty?" "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." "So, wanna go back to my place?" "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" "It's in the phone book." "But I don't know your name." "That's in the phone book too." "What sign were you born under?" "No Parking." "I know how to please a woman." "Then please leave me alone." "Haven't we met before?" "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic." "I want to give myself to you." "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." "I can tell that you want me." "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you... to leave." "Hey, baby, What's your sign?" "Stop." "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" "Sorry, I don't date outside my species." "May I see you pretty soon?" "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?" "Your body is like a temple." "Sorry, there are no services today." "I'd go through anything for you." "Good! Let's start with your bank account." "I would go to the end of the world for you." "Yes, but would you stay there?" Guy: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore." "Your place or mine?" "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." He: So, wanna go back to my place? She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? After hearing a pickup line: I like your approach, now let's see your departure. If you are looking at a girl and she says "What are you looking at?" say "I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken." He: Would you like to dance? She: Not with you. He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did. He: Do you wanna dance? She: Yeah but not with you! He: You must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants! Q: Does beauty run in your family? A: It obviously doesn't in yours! Q: What's your name sexy? A: Taken! Q: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? A: Yeah, but this time don't stop! Q: I think you're the best looking girl in here. A: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I! He: So, baby, your place or mine? She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine! He: Your legs go clear up to your ass. She: Most peoples' do! Q: Can I buy you a drink? A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too! "You look like a dream." Response: "Go back to sleep." He: What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? She: What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world? "I can see forever in your eyes." Response: "But all I can see is never in yours." "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included." Response: "Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk." Pick-up lines....Wow! You're like Gillette. You're the best a man can get.
I'm a fotune teller and i predict that in about two minutes your going to be snogging me "Hey baby how about we go play Marco Polo; In the shower?" You must be good at the flute cause you sure charm my snake. Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (I don't know) Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name is.... Every rose needs its thorns thats why I should be with you. My pencils may be number 2, but you are number 1! Guy: It's a good thing I have my library card, because I'm checking you out. Girl: Oh, sorry, I'm reserved for someone else. guy-"you got a sewing kit?" girl-"no, why?" guy-"cuz im ripped!" Your so hot when i look at you i get a tan Picker upper: If I were a cop, I'd arrest you. Pickeree: Why? Picker upper: You stole my heart without permission You look so sweet your givin me a toothache. You got something on your chest: my eyes I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. Q: "Can you hold something for me?" A: Sure. (Slip your hand into theirs). I am not a pro basketball player but i would like to score on u Guy: Do you hear that Girl: What Guy: Oh sorry that was my heart singing for you Girl ur parents must be bricklayers because u have a nice foundation Ask:Can i get directons...............Reply:To where................Answer:Your bedroom "your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice!" I'D POUR MILK ON U AND MAKE U PART OF MY COMPLEAT BREAKFAST! A song from your lips is an aria from heaven. All this could be yours for one low, low price! Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living? Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to? Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you. Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot. Are you accepting applications for your fan club? Are you an interior decorator? When I saw you the room became beautiful. Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside? Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary? Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here. Are you Natasha, my contact? Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers. Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long. Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelight dinner later tonight? Aren't you the tiger on the Frosted Flakes box? Cuz you look "Grrrreat!" As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me! Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you." Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away! Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel! Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business. Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love. Be unique and different, say yes. Before you run, I am not a freak. Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped! By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and damn, I look good!. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. Can I flirt with you? Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas? Can i get your picture to prove to all my friends that angels really do exist Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. Champaign can be tickly, and so can I. (Close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this). Coffee? Tea? Me? Come live in my heart, and pay no rent. Compared to you, the sun feels cold. Could you do me a favor and tell your boyfriend he's a lucky man? Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged! Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me? Did you have Campbell's soup today? (she answers yes/no) Because you're lookin' mmm... mmm... good! Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me. Didn't I pick you up in the grocery store? 'Cause you're hot like salsa Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue? Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after. Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious. Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?) Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes! Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot? Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? Do you have room in your life for another friend? Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number? Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'. Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me. Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home! Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room? Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue. Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror) Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? Does beauty run in your family? Does Levi's pay you for wearing those and looking that good? Does my breath smell okay? Does your watch have a second hand? I want to know how long it took for me to fall in love with you. Don't walk into that building -- the sprinklers might go off! Don't you know me from somewhere? Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent Excuse me miss, I don't mean to stare, but um I think you're really Beautiful" Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you. Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? (As you look around you ask "where") Over there! (Ask again: "What did I drop?") He answers back: My jaw! Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize? Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show! Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met. Excuse me, but I may be lost... Can you give me directions to wherever you're going? Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!! Excuse me, but weren't we blissfully married in a past life? Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP. (If she laughs, she's yours; if she looks at you funny, apologize.) Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage? Excuse me, do you have change for a $100 bill? Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine. Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us. Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl/guy I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you. Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle. Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend? Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing? Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams. Excuse me... do you speak Klingon? For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me. Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice. Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy! Girl: I may not be Mya but my love is like whoa Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that it"s a big river, and the bunny on this side (it doesn"t matter which side) really needs to get to the other side. Then tell the person how they think that bunny got across. And when they finally give up, give them puppy eyes and tell them that there was no bunny, but that you just wanted to hold their hand. (Awwwwww) God must have been in a very good mood the day we met. Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses? Good news, the test results are negative! Got me? I'll do your body good. Grab them in the butt and ask, "Pardon me, is this seat taken?" Great choice of clothes, they match the trim in the Jag Guy: What's your name? Girl: Danielle Guy: Oh... I thought it was Aphrodite. Guy: Can i see your hand? (he draws a little river then a bunny on one side and says he can't get to the other side because he will go glub glub glub.) Gal: What was the point of that? Guy : Just wanted an excuse to hold your hand Guy: Did I see u somewhere? Girl: No Guy: Then I must of seen you in my dreams! (works everytime) Guy: I may not be Baby Bash but you're my suga Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it? Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it? Have you been eating Cocoa Puffs? cuz I'm goin cookoo for you Have you ever been to Hawaii? (No why?) Well it was the most beautiful thing I've seen till I gazed into your eyes He: You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? He: Twice. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart. Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend? Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back. Hello? Oh, your body was calling me from across the room. Help, something's wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you. Here's your chance to get to know me. Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day...all I'm asking for is one Hey babe, can I have your number? I think it'll look better in my pocket than in your head. Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name? Hey baby, where you been all my life? Hey baby, you are like a pot of gold... Hard to get and hard to hold. Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes. Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me. Hey kitten, how about spending some of your nine lives with me. HEY!!!! Wanna go half on a baby? Hey, come here often? You could, with me. Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile. Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl/guy with the beautiful smile. Hey, haven't I seen you before? I remember, it was in my dreams! Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good? Hey, I lost my phone number ... Can I have yours? Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name! Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here. Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is! Hey, you owe me a drink. (Answers): why? Or I do? ---Because I dropped mine when you walked past! Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night! Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"? Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do? Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no. Hi, I make more money than you can spend. Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption. Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot? Hi, I'm Batman. Wanna see my batmobile? Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. Hi, my name's Right...Mr. Right. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. Hi. Are you cute? Hi. Can I domesticate you? Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often? Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform. How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me. How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot! I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Well, I already know myself, how about I get to know you? I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} OOh it says your gonna call me soon! I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow. I didn't know that angels could fly so low! I didn't know that Miss America lived here! I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet. I don't know you, but I think I love you already. I dropped a tear in the ocean, the day I find it is the day I'll stop loving you I envy your lipstick. I have a cat. She would really like to meet you. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me? I have only three months to live. I heard that you have a good dentist. Mind if I try out his work? I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are! I knew that my life DID have a purpose, but not until I looked into your eyes. I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out. I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name was included. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you. I must be in heaven because I'm standing next to you! I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south. I never thought that heaven would be so close to me" I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you. I saw you, I had an asthma attack because you took my breath away! I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman. I think I must be dying because I'm looking at Heaven. I think my medication is wearing off. I think you've got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it's just a sparkle. I tried to find the perfect line to make you mine, sweetheart, but after searching all I could come up with was this look in my eyes and your hand in mine, and the words, will you be mine? I want to bear all your children. (to a woman) I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you more then a Popsicle on a hot summer day I would love to be your tears, to be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and to die on your lips. I'd marry your cat to get in the family. If a star fell for every time i thought of you, the sky would be empty. If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches. If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away. If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity. If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself. If I could be anything I'd be a tear: Born in your eye, live on your cheek, and die at your lips. If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater. If I could reach out and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. If I followed you home, would you keep me? If I had a nickel for every time I've seen a woman as beautiful as you, I'd have 5 cents. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home? If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created. If nostalgia was white and passion was black, my love for you would be a little chessboard If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib. If water were beauty you'd be the ocean. If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?" If you were a booger I'd pick you first. If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning". If you were a library book, I would check you out. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you. If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I'd pour all my love onto you. I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug? I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night? I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend? I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment? I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you. I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve. I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off? Inheriting twenty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart. Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel. Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for! Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off? Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in case they say "yes."] Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get It must be a day off in heaven for an angel like you to be amongst us. It must be dark outside. 'Cause all the sunshine in the world is right here. It's always good for you to see me again. It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No, but how about a kiss anyway? It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me. I've been noticing you not noticing me. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good. Just where do those legs of yours end? Know what I like best about you baby? You haven't maced me yet. Let's make like a Fabric softener and Snuggle Let's make out so I can see if you taste as good as you look. Life without you would be like a broken pencil...pointless. Like the sheets on your bed I want cover you with love. Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money? [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?", say "Checking to see if you were made in heaven." Man, you sure are bright girl! Were you raised by the stars? Man: "Would you like to dance?" Woman:(looks at you up and down) "No thank you." Man: "Sorry, you must've misunderstood me. I said: "you look fat in those pants!" Man: excuse me did you just feel my ass? Girl: no you: why not? Man:"Girl, you are so rude!" Girl:"How am I being rude?" Man:"Because you're looking so fine and not telling me you're name." Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you my dear have left one great leap on mine! May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you? Miss, you made my heart stop... My leech would like you as a new host. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love. My lips are registered weapons. Can I invade your personal space? My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to. My psychiatrist sent me for an MRI because she thinks I have a magnetic personality. Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous! Oh my god, I thought I was gay... then I met you. Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick! Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish? Oooh, you're lookin' fine. Not in the good way, in the "you'll do" way. (Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you? (Person walks in, and you say:) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine! Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it and say, "You dropped your nametag!". Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne. Pinch me. "Why?" You're so fine I must be dreaming. Please don't go or else I will have to make a report to the cops....u stole my heart Pull my finger. Really like your peaches and I wanna shake your tree. Say, didn't we go to different schools together? Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance? Smile if you want me!. So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you? So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) 'Cause I'm gonna ask you out. So, you're a girl huh? Somebody needs to write explosive on you, cuz your the bomb! Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample? Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"? Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire! Take a chance on me. (Talk to her) Did I ever tell you you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (her name) you are the wind beneath my wings. That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you. The only thing your eyes haven't told me about you is your name. There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are. There is much more here than what meets the eye. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. There was no color in the world until I met you. There's an aura about you that's hidden and I want to bring that aura out. This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line. This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute! This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single. Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say, "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet." (Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it." Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night." Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you're desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, "how about you call me tomorrow and we'll figure out a way to spend this money?" (Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good! (Walk up to them and touch them) Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion (mirage). Want to see my stamp collection? Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you! Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you. Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes? Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good. Were you in Girl/Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot. Weren't you on America's Most Wanted last night? What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room? What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too! What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male) What sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc... What time do you have to be back in heaven? What would you do if I kissed you right now? What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me? What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off! What's the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?" What's your sign? When God made you, he was showing off. When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part. When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels. When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons. When you look into the mirror holding up a dozen roses, you see the 13 most beautiful things in the world When's our wedding date? (While looking at stars) Baby, I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me. Who's your daddy? Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? Wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice. Woman, I hate to see you go, but I LOVE watching you leave.... Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass. Would you like someone to mix with your drink? Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel? Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together? Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming. You - "Did it hurt". The other person will naturally say "Did what hurt?", You - "When you fell from heaven." You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me. You are a beautiful girl, you have probably heard all the great pick up lines, so why dont' you just tell me the ones that worked so we can get past all that....?" You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. You are not a woman, you are an essence You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family. You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine. You are so sweet...I'm getting a toothache just looking at you... You are the hottest thing since sunburn. You are the only reason why I came in here alone. You are the proof that God has a sense of humor. You are the reason men fall in love. You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me! You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding." You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get! You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad. You look beautiful today, just like every other day. You look just like my mother. You look like a big glass of water and I sure am thirsty! You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book ... So what's one more?? You look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit! You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. You must be a chef, because you certainly are mighty spicy. You must be from Hiroshima, cause baby you're the Bomb. you must be from out of space cause I can see the stars in your eyes You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb. You must be going to hell cause it must be a sin to look that good. You MUST have a nice personality. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here! You remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You're cool cause you're hot! You Say: Looks like we're late." She Says: "For what?" You Say: "For dinner. Your choice this time, I'm buying." You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. You should be someone's wife. You: Do you have a warrant out for your arrest? Them: No....why? girl: Because it has got to be a crime being so damn sexy. You: You're perfect in almost every way, except you have one major flaw. Them: What's that? You: Your address. It needs to be the same as mine. You make me want to get a job! Your body is like a haiku in motion. Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special. Your daddy must be a terrorist, because baby- you da bomb! Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home. Your eyes have touched my soul Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine? You're a twinkle in my eye and an angel from the sky. You're daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox. You're daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye. You're eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea. You're hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power! You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life! You're so hot you would make the devil sweat. You're ugly but you intrigue me. You've been a bad girl/boy. Go to my room. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you. 'tenjewberrymuds' - Wonder what this is... Read on!!!To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. Jewish to oddor sunteen??" RS: "Ow July den?" RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease bakem, Anglish moppin we bodder on G: "Whatever you say." RS: "Tenjewberrymuds." G : "You're very welcome." |
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